A CHALLENGE: HURRY UP, HURRY UP, GET OUT OF MY WAY

Hurry up, hurry up!!  How many times during the day do you hear yourself saying these words to yourself and to others in your path? 
If you are among the majority, I bet you say, hurry up several times every day.  You may say it to yourself, as you are rushing around the house or the office trying to get ready to leave or make a deadline.  You may say it to the person waiting in line at the drive through in the morning, you may say it to your son or daughter on the way to school, you may say it to the car in front of you on the road to work or to the person in line at the post office.  Where ever you say it, does it help?  Does it ever really help to say hurry up?  Often I catch myself saying it to myself.  It makes me feel worse and even more exhausted than I was before it came to mind.  I am sure it is connected with the idea of control.  I feel more out of control when these words come to mind or out of my mouth. 
As a child these words were often used to urge me to go faster because I was going to be late.  In the morning as I dressed and got ready to take the special bus to school my mother often said,  “Hurry up!”  I did not realize where these words would take me as I got older.  If I had known then what I know now I would have suggested that my mother use a different set of words as a reminder to stay on task and get ready to go. 
Not only were these words a reminder for me to keep going and not be distracted, but somehow they also became entwined as a way of comparing myself to everyone else.  Unknowingly these words: Hurry Up!
made me feel as though I was different, much slower than others and that was not a good thing.  As a way to compensate for this feeling I was slower than others I started to invent a way to keep up.  My  inner child solution was to skip something I should have been learning to do, or thinking or feeling, and make sure I was where I should be on time!  In the process of getting there on time I put myself second and someone else first.  The priorities of others became more important than my own priorities.   This way to solve a problem has become insidious.  Not until the last few years have a begun to realize how much this way of thinking has affected my choices and the way I make decisions.  I often put off my first choice and go for the choice that is most convenient for everyone else in the group.  Or, secondly which choice will lead to the easiest or quickest response (especially if some physical action is required.)  If I take long to respond then I will not get “there” on time, or I will be holding up the group (or the passengers on the bus.)  The more I have put the needs of the group first, and me second the more, my body has expressed resistance when it comes time to go somewhere, especially if time is a factor.  The more I think about going faster the more my body tightens up and my muscles become more constricted and less able to move freely.
This then becomes a vicious cycle.  The more I try to hurry the tighter my muscles become and the harder it is to get dressed or ready to get things together to go somewhere. 
I would like to suggest a more positive way to encourage someone to get ready to go, by asking them to slow down, especially if they have spastic cerebral palsy.   Wow! That really sounds crazy!  Yes, you heard it here first.  When you want someone (including yourself) to hurry up, say, “Slow down” instead.  I would also like to suggest daily periods of quiet reflection and meditation.  Teach yourself relaxation and the idea of creative planning to ready yourself for the day’s events.  I have to use these techniques today, and they have helped me refocus and realize the patterns that have been established within me.  If I can allow myself a few extra minutes in the morning to just sit and practice relaxation and then some physical movement in the form of exercise that is loosening rather than forcing movement that is constricting my whole day is improved.  I feel better about myself and the choices I  have made.  I am  honoring my own needs.  I am continuing to learn to watch myself and pay attention to when I feel my body start to tighten up.  If I can catch myself and stop and slow down before I get over the “line” it is much easier to think myself through the activity creatively rather than fall back into old patterns of tension and constriction. 
Does everyone feel constriction in their body?  I used to think, “no”.
But I have come to realize they may not feel constriction the same way I do, but may experience constriction in their blood vessels or digestive system and are not aware of what they are feeling inside.  So in that way I have an advantage.  My body will not allow me to not pay attention to what is happening to me when I am feeling hurried or stressed.  I often have no choice but to stop and notice what is going on and then do something to change it. 
At the end of the work day or on weekends other techniques I have found useful have included lying on the floor with my legs up on a footstool (in hook line position)  to take the pressure off my back and relaxing by listening to some soothing music or a CD with a healing visualization or meditation.  Anything I can do to retrain my mind, so the messages or self talk is soothing and positive supplements may bag of tricks.
What have you found helpful as a way to reduce the “Hurry Up” syndrome?

Motivation to Connect

What is our motivation to connect? Connect with what you ask? Connect with other people. I think our motivation to connect with others is inborn. I think we have this gift at birth to connect with other human beings. When humans are born, they cannot survive without connecting to another or they will not survive or thrive. With this gift in mind I also see people around me negating this gift, this motivation to survive through the connection with other people. Yesterday I was having breakfast with my husband in a restaurant on Sunday morning. Seated across the aisle from us were a man and his daughter (I assume.) The man looked to be in his thirties and the girl was around ten years old. They placed their order with the server then the man opened his blackberry or cell phone and started pushing the buttons. They probably sat there for 10-15 minutes waiting for their order and all the while he was engrossed in his tech device. The girl sat across from him politely looking his way. She got up once and headed toward the kitchen to check on what was happening, then came back and sat down. The man looked oblivious. He was engrossed in his “stuff”. When the order came they split the order and ate without much conversation. They both looked satisfied and happy.

It is none of my business but I felt mad. I wanted to go over to the man and say, “Look, someone is with you here and now!” The girl was very polite, and well mannered. If she had been acting out in some way, would she have been given more attention?
Is that the kind of people we want to succeed in today’s world? People that get attention any way they can.

I would like to offer a suggestion. Be motivated to see the people around you and connect. Really connect with them. Give them eye contact and let them know you acknowledge their amazing presence in your life. Give a nod and a smile if no words are there. Let them be invited to join you in your journey here on this planet. We are here for a limited time and we must be respectful of the gift we have to connect with others who are in our surrounding space. Take time to share moments that will never come again.

I have a soft spot in my heart for young people. (I was once a young person too.) We all desire love and acceptance. If we can provide that, we must.
I can remember family members and extended family members and friends who provided models for pure acceptance and gave of themselves numerous times when others were not “available” when I grew up. What a difference that made in my life and in their lives. I felt touched and enriched by very special people. I will never forget the inner feeling of warmth and caring that I can call upon anytime when I take the time to remember those people and the events in my life that made them so special. I think part of what made it so special was that they were giving of themselves and giving their time when others could not. Can you remember these times and call upon them when needed? Can you provide these times for others around you? I think we have to try. I think we have to step back and see the long-range view. If we cannot provide those moments for others who will?